Thursday, February 24, 2011

I hear it's cold in Europe

Well here you have warm greetings from the beach at Copacabana!

Shake that ass for me shake that ass for me

So here we go: the legendary party on sunday. For the local brazilian it probably was just like any other party but with two random gringas joining, for me.....on the other hand it was...lets say that it was different than anything that I've experianced.

Trip 1:So at 2 PM we left our cosy little apartment to join a goodbye party for one of the capoeira guy who was about to travel to Germany. Without knowing where or how to get to the place we jumped on the bus....and it was boiling. A bus trip in 37 degrees without AC is sweaty to say the least. After some help from a lovely lady on the bus we managed to jump off at the right place, the clothes stuck to our body from the sweating...nice. Then we started walking and walking and walking, stopping every now and then to ask how to get to this street. "Go straight, then to the right and then straight and then to the left and then you´ll come to that street". Great ok, so we did...and found ourself walking basically in the favela...good thing that it was daytime but we were still aware of where we were. We found the right housenumber but then again we found no people...after trying to call some people we gave up and decided that some food and trip 2 would be our only option.

Food mission: I'm not gonna say the food here is crap, cause that would be a lie but I'm also not gonna say that it's great, at least not if you're a leafeating rabbit like myself. But in the end we found this "arabic" resturant. If my family from lebanon would have gone there and had the hoummus and tabuleh that we got....they would have put the place out of business at that moment. It was shite....sorry for the language, but really it was. But it was food and now we had energy to continue our journey to the other place that we had no idea were was. Namely the birthday party.

Trip 2: Now we were supposed to somehow get to the second party....after we had waited for the bus (at the wrong place) for about 10 min our guide through the phone told us to just take a taxi. Done...we went on the taxi but then the taxidriver wasnt sure where the place was. After the driver and the phone guide had exchanged some information in between them (in a very loud manner, I dont understand when people shout on the phone) it seemed that we would get where ever we were supposed to go. But..no. Driver called his friend who also wasnt quite sure about the location so he suggested that the driver would just bring us to his place.....WHAT? Ok, so he was a joker. We made it there...finally.

Party: And this is were the whole thing took a rather funny, amuzing, sassy kinda turn. The party was on the top floor (kinda lika balcony if you can call it that) of the house of the family of the birthday boy who goes by the name Lobisomem (which means wolf or something). The view was amazing. And there were only locals there....shit and my portugese sucks bad. But as most of you know I'm a fan of attention and the two gringas definatly got some attention.
In the beginning we kinda just stood there...I wasn't quite sure where to put my hands nor how to place my legs. In fact..I had no idea how to behave or act or what to do. First of all it seemed as me and Miss Frida were in a winterparty compared to the other girls, who were wearing something that reminds of clothes but one wouldnt really call it clothes....they simply didn't cover enough to go by that name. Second of all our curves were very very poor compared to the others. In fact...I looked more like a 10 year old who went to the wrong birthdayparty. Then we got some beers (and they by the way kept on coming for the whole evening and night) and as you know beers makes you loosen up a bit; remark that I say a bit. At this point serious ass shaking and posing for cameras started. Now, I consider myself to be...well how will I put this...I'm not sure. Anyway....these girls in their small outfits with boobs and bums trying to escape the material on them, seriously know how to shake. I just stood there thinking...."How is this even possible". Going all the way down and then staying there shaking their body like there was no tomorrow and then up again and shaking there and then left and right and south and west.
And the beer kept on coming...now my courage to speak portugese had appeared and though it was wrong in every single way I kept on babbling (well a bit) while still keeping my eye on the dance scenario going on. At one point I was pulled out to the dancefloor because "You cannot stay in Brazil without learning samba", so I tried...but I've got an issues with following the gentlemen...I'm more of a leader. As the night proceeded me and Miss Frida had various dance lessons....then the beer was over.

Beerless...not possible. So off we went with some friends on beer and nutrient mission. Pizza and beer was the choice of nutrition and if I remember correctly I even think there was football on in the TV (yes, there is tv in every single resturant). More beers and at one point Miss Frida went out to buy some smokes, next thing I know she's waving to me holdin a machine gun in her other hand.....Turns out she had met some policemen outside and they were kind enough to let her try on the gun....whoohaa!

After eating and sipping we went on to a Baila-Funk party. O wow....what can I say! I can imagine what you're thinking when I say funk party, well let your mind wander 100 miles beyond that and you might be slightly on the right way. It was: hot, sweaty, horny, wet and there was a dress code: wear as little as possible. We ordered buckets of bears (to keep hydrated) and here we got a privat lesson from Lobisomems sister on all the dancestyles: funk (rubbing against the other gender, basically..well with some hip twisting and turning), samba and the story goes on. She was a mega master in the whole thing and pretty good teacher as well and on top of all that she was super sweet and pretty. We stayed in the baila-funk party for three hours and for three hours we danced, drank beer that got evaporated almost immediatly from our skin and more or less tried to behave like a real carioca....ah., well dont know about that. Because it was so late when we finally left the place we stayed at Lobisomems place. Apparantly it's not a good idea to take a taxi at 6 in the morning.
The trip home on monday morning was dreadful...it was so warm, the hangover was so bad, the trip took 2,5 hours and the busdriver drove like he had gotten his bloody driving licence on the internet. But we made it and the last steps to our lovely apartment were like the last steps of this life. Monday was spent half unconcious in bed with the fan on full until it was time for a training. I lie not when I say that my sweat probably tasted like beer after that training.

In the end I must admit that I enjoyed the whole scenario. It's fun to be able to go out, let your hair down and shake and swing (and lets be honest here, it's done in a different way here than in europe). Brazilians know how to party, that's for sure. And the key words: hot, sweat, shake and rub!!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Thats a first

Now I've always been relatively obsessed of staying fit and all that jazz. And I've always consider myself to have a good amount of boobs and bum. Well.....in this country I'd need to add a lot on both to catch the attention of the male animals. Both are way below average.....not gonna try to change, god no. I'll live with my small bum and boobs and when I return to Europe I'll be on the avarage line again.

I'll write a little later about the pretty awesome night we had yesterday. We were at a local party of one of the capoeira guys who had a birthday. There was some serious amount of ass-shaking and me and Frida got a privat teacher to teach us the right mover. Needless to say I looked like a 10 year old compared to all those hooche mamas with their tight inyminy hotpants and even smaller tops, hugging every single curve on their body....well if they were not on exposure.

Later on that!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Learning through experiance

When staying in another country one becomes pretty alert about the environment, the people and the every day life. So far this is what i've picked up on:

a) Every 3rd person on the street has a tattoo
b) Looks are number 1, 2 and 3....so good bodies are seen frequently.
c) Because it's so warm those good bodies are easily viewable due to the lack of clothes (or the small amount of clothes).
d) Big bums are common and popular on girls.
e) The men on the street think that our name is Linda....(muhahaha...this is such a funny joke).
f) Leave the shyness at home...there is no space for it.
g) The bus drivers drive like there is a woman in labour somewere and all of us should witness the birth of the babie.
h) The swimwear are made by a stingy person, who is saving the material. 1000 bikinis of 1,5 meter of material. You can imagin how small they are.
i) Caiprinha are not only tasty but they're about 40%.....oh and the bottle is less than 3 euros. So you must assume that me and the Miss Frida re in heaven. Mostly cause we're friggin osssom in making them!!!
j) Sex is no secret. If you want it you ask for it or simply go for it..hence Miss Frida witnessed some relatively messed up people gettin out of the toilet and they had not yet put their clothes in place....classy!
k) If you're feeling desperate (and me and the miss Frida don't feel like that because of our fabulousness) you just go into the sea un Copacabana and swim towards the next male or female and you're set!

I will keep on adding to this list, so keep updated!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Death of camera and other stories

My camera gave up on life, should have known this was going to happen since it's night sight had already gone bad and sometimes it wouldn't wake up at all. Then there came the day that it just didn't wake up from it's sleep. Well...obviously I can't go without a camera so me and Miss Frida went to Centro and purchased a brand new one, shiny and pretty. To tell you a word or two about Centro: during day it's busy, people on the streets selling goods and no goods, going to work or taking a stroll. At around 6 PM people rush to the metro and get themself out of Centro, because during the night the crooks come out. We drove through it on our way from the airport and it looked like no mans land, totally empty!

We've also been on a "favela"\forest tour. We had just had one to many caipirinha the night before so we woke up around 1 hour before the tour was SUPPOSED to start (of course it then went 1 hour after planned). Favelas are built in the hills and we were walking so high up that the air was almost too thin. Then after passing the favelas we reached the forest...with all it's bugs and flies. It was a fest for them cause that day they had a free buffey....namely me. I truly did enjoy it, walking and climbing, seeing some monkeys and all that jazz but afterwards I had bites on the most unlikely and likely places one can think of. The other ones on the other hand did not have any....guess my blood is real yummi (which means that when the vampires appear finally, i'll me super popular and probably get the hottest vampire guy eeeever).

Actually it was the night before the favela tour that we had a beach party with the capoeiristas. And it was so much fun. Singing, dancing, talking and enjoying the view of handsome men was enjoyable. Always is.

On saturday night we went to a huge samba party. At first I was a bit shy entering the floor but then I was shaking every part of my body like I was fabulously possessed. Around 70 percent of the men in that club were not straight...oh no. The Icelandic guy from the danish capoeira group was very popular among them. Fabulous gays and transies were in majority and then there was a minor drag show. Gotta love.  I was asked about my scars (quite frequently) which is normal but instead boring them with the real story I told that I had been attacked by a polar bear and THEY BOUGHT IT. I'm using this from now on. And then I tell them that I have the skin hangin on my wall...muhahahah

Other wise life has been relatively easy going. Me and Miss Frida have been training and studying the last days and will do the following days. Will go to Lapa though and look at the tile...something something and party. Yes, party...cause the parties in Lapa are said to be very good.

Oh, I cannot forget to tell you this traumatic life experiance i had. I was going to get a knife in one of the drawer. As I was opening it...and about to reach for a knife a cockroach poked is head out to say hello. Ughughughugh.....Closed the drawer immediatly and worked with out the knife...obviously they're crawwwling with parasites.

But apart from all....life is great except for the fucking the bites the itchiness that follows. That's kinda busting the beauty of it all!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Settling in

We got the apartment today! We were lucky enough to find an apartment for a relatively reasonable price considering that carnival is just around the corner and we actually have it over the carnival. The owner is some whacky lady called Isabel...she´s real nice but a total nutball! She is doing some mediation, healing stuff something and got very excited when we said that we were both studying to be vets....going on about how animals have the energy of the...blabla dosed of there, i´m not really into all that spiritual stuff.

Since sunday we´ve been in this hostel and I must say that that is enjoyable, a chance to meet so many new people and hear stories.  Half of the guest are Argentinians (you can imagin my excitement, considering the fact that I am in love with spanish and they rarely shut up) ...and they´re all super nice. We got to know this Argentinian couple; Agustina (how awesom is that name!!!) and Fernande. One of the most entertaining people I´ve met, oozing with happyness and energy and throwing jokes here and there, whipping up a guitar and singin backstreet boys and generally being great! We got an invitation to stay at their place whenever we go to Argentina....I would like to go soon....can I please do that? Sooner or later you will be able to see a video of yours truly doing a show with the guy, Fernandez...we were thinking about traveling the world and do this show but then figured that maybe we wouldnt get to far with it.

We´ve been to two capoeira trainings so far. The first one on monday and then with the danish group yesterday. Greeeeat trainings but fuccck its hard doing it in 30 degrees. My t-shirt was wet...and not just a little; it actually looked like I had jumped into the sea. But the trainings are great, the energy is great, the guys are great (we´re being hones; right?), the whole thing is great. This is truly the center of capoeira and even though going to workshops is great this is different, dont know how but it is. Should probably add that all facial parts and other body parts are still intact, though I fear that it might not stay like that the whole time, worst case scenario I have my Visa insurance plus I´ve totally done the whole broken face thing...old news.

We´re planning on going to this island for one weekend ; Ileha Grande. Supposed to be a real paradise and beautiful. And then no further plans have been made, train and study are things that will be in the normal routine, all the other things will come when they come.

To end this rather long blog; Asai is a frigging great fruit drink...one is sensational, two gives you a stomach ache. I should also mention that I was crowned the Princess of El misti hostel yesterday. Got a pretty little tiara (had to give it back this morning which was a bummer). It wasn´t witnessed by many people, even Frida missed it because she had gone to bed. So it was only the guys working there (two from argentina and one from mexico...all good looks) and one guest from argentina (surprise) oh and some empty caipirinha glasses. Woke up with a slight headache this morning but when i saw my crown....well, the familiar feeling of royalness swushed it away!

over and out icecubes!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Panick

Short something.

Got the itch in three places now, that means some fucker bug has bitten me in three places which means that there is a possibility I have some horrible parasites circulating in my blood settling in the tissues turning my perfectly fine cells into something not so perfectly fine.

I really should have done this exam before x-mas...the whole thing is still so fresh in my little house of brain.

I´m off to buy some insect repellant....later more

Monday, February 7, 2011

One night in Rio

So we arrived yesterday, sunday the 6th of feb after that looooong flight. The guy who got the honor of staying in 24J next to us fab ladies was a british bloke; odd ball. He was a tiny man, his hair had started to thin, overbite so that his face reminded me of an animal that I wont name cause then people will say that I´m mean and we all now better. Now the looks don´t matter so much when flying...but the thing was that not only did he stink of sweat but his breath was as if something had died in his mouth...ugh.

When we arrived we went straight to the beach...both being the sunlovers we are. Though we forgot a crucial thing....sunblock. I went all cocky ¨Well....I dont really burn, I get slightly rouge¨. Should have kept my mouth shut cause at the end of the day my chest definatly did not resemble anything one would call brown...it was red!
Felt slightly silly at that point...but i guess there is a first for everything (ok, it´s not really a first....but after the first day it is).

Finding food that is not pastery with cheese is not so easy! But in the end we setteled for some fish and it was good and so was the caipirinha, but puha they´re strong and after one, tipsyness had entered the house.

The night....well the night was so cold. Didn´t really have to worry about mosquitos because they dont live in the friggin arctic....that´s how cold the room was. After have been wearing shorts and tops during the day i was fully clothed in the night almost shivering. You might think I´m exaggerating cause I tend to do that.....but this is the honest truth.....our room was cold, really cold.

Now we obviously need to compensate for the cold so off to the beach and this time we´re wearing sunscreen....factor Brazil!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Copenhagen.....last day before travel


We made it to Copenhagen.....somehow! After accidentally going "a little" bit out on wednesday we woke up aproxametly two hours after what was planned. You can imagin me....stressball of the month, running around, swearing, running some more and basically having a nervous brakedown. Postoffice, printing stuff, packing the rest of the stuff and then all of a sudden Sandra Lif was at the door: "fuck...we're not ready, shit we haven't called a taxi....crap".

Made it to the airport, fridas bags half open because of a wallet emergency! Wallet found...nerves settling a bit.  Checked in around 100.000 bags (I had three and so did frida). And then finally on the plane....by this time the nerves were more or less in the relaxed state....until I realised...crapster....forgot my jumper and some cream. Took three deep breaths: "I'll live without them, no worries"

The trip from the airport to Frida's place was without major shock... well except for the fact the buses were on strike (I was kinda relieved...we could take a taxi) but travelling with 6 bags and a little bit of tømmermand is something I dont wish to do again. I dont get how people can travel around with a whole bunch of kids!

So now we're packing our bags....dresses, small t-shirts, capoeira things, sunglasses (how many should i bring) and the things you need for beaches and sun. Yesterday we were looking at some trips to the Amazona....ullala, I'm excited but I'll probably be walking around with tons of insect repellent and be totally paranoid because of all those parasites that I spent so long reading about. Ugh....maybe there will be a worm that goes under my skin and makes a house...ugh.

So, I  guess next time I'll write I'll have some tan and overexcited about the whole brazil thing!!